Two Weeks Old

My Son - Happy Two Week birthday! You have been such a trooper these last two weeks. You've been getting lots of pricks and pokes and prodding. I like to see you show your opinions, getting in the way and showing those doctors and nurses you've had quite enough thank-you-very-much. You're my feisty little fellow! A few nurses have even commented that you're quite mischevious. I'm not at all surprised!

This has been quite a week for you... Let me tell you all about it...

He loves to be all snugged up, cozy and warm. 

I'm feeling a little more worried about you today. Your very nice nurse, Gwen, told me that through out the night your Brady's were longer and more frequent. To the point now that your respiratory rate is also dipping. Thankfully you pull out of it yourself and it's not terribly low. But Apnea is a very scary thing for a mommy to hear about.  Your increase in morning caffeine will hopefully take affect and help you remember to breath and beat your heart more affectively. The other thing we're trying is lengthening your feeding time. Usually you take your 20 ml over 30 mins, but we'll up that to one hour. Sometimes itty bitty babies like you have reflux that aggravates your nerves down there to the point that it affects your heart. interesting huh?

The Feeding Pump
- the tiny tube goes down his nose (it used to be in his mouth)
 straight into his stomach

Oh dear. Gwen just called. She said your not improving with the longer feeding time and now it's time to get you back on oxygen. She's using the little puffy bag and a mask right now while she waits for the cardiologist to bring the prongs and equipment. I wondering how you feel about all that? It'll be just the small prongs that go under your nose with gentle puffs of air and a tad more oxygen than room air. I don't think you'll like the extra tubes and the feel of them taped under your nose. I'm sorry son. Sometimes we have to do things that will help your body even though it doesn't feel good right now.

You lost a little weight today. Back down to 965g. I understand that it's all normal. Part of being a little guy who's body is premature. I just don't like these ups and downs. I wish I could protect you from all this. I dream of figuring out a way to have kept you in my womb- safe, snug, warm and close. God has a plan though, doesn't He Baby Boy? He is in control of every little thing in this life. He adores us. He is the giver of good gifts- even those "gifts" that feel scary and overwhelming in the moment. Someday we'll talk about this part of our journey and praise God for all He has done for us. I know He has you in His hands, that He has a good and perfect plan through all of this. After all, He gave YOU to me! That alone is an incredible gift.

Devin was so delighted when you opened your eyes to say hello!

I forgot the most exciting news of the week! You had an ultrasound done on your tummy to check your kidneys and all the piping down there. And guess what? God has answered our prayers! Everything is completely normal! Isn't He so good to us? and your creatinen levels are lowering down into the normal range, too. Isn't that wonderful? I'm so proud of you, my son. You're sure working hard to eat, grow and do all the things that a baby's mommy usually does for him while he's still in utero.

I'll be in the hospital very soon to see you and comfort you. The afternoons we have together are so beautiful. When I get there lets talk all about what life will be like when we finally bust out of that place, take you home to your own bed, and start making memories and going on adventures with your brother and sister.

You look so content in my arms

I love you with all my heart, my precious wee Jimmy.